School Pressure and Success Don’t Go Hand-in-Hand
I’ll never forget the day we received our first AP Biology tests back. Those who scored 90 and above earned a red Peppa Pig stamp on their test paper. They were called up first. Those who did not get the seal of honor were called up afterward. Everyone knew who had the highest grades and who had the lowest. As my teacher phrased it, you either walked with pride or with shame. I was one of the “walk of pride” students; while it felt good at the time to know that I scored well, the whole setup felt wrong and exclusionary. I noticed that some of my friends remained seated, and instead of feeling a sense of accomplishment, I began to feel upset. Why were some students made to feel ashamed simply based on grades?
I don’t think of myself as a competitive person. Healthy competition fosters growth and development, motivating individuals to continually improve themselves. However, the level of competitiveness I faced during my first two years of high school was over the top. Grades overtook our lives and personalities, defining and separating us.
Many of us didn’t even know how to talk about anything other than grades. I was also guilty of that. While I knew that being a grade-obsessed, competitive person wasn’t in my nature, being around people who thought that way and being in a school that measured success by grades made me act in this way.
I can’t speak for everyone in my grade, but I can safely say that the competition around test scores and GPAs started to affect my mental health in negative ways. Going to school and hearing that a 3 on an AP exam is “useless” or that we should be crying because our test scores were “horrendous” didn’t give me the positive motivation to keep doing my best. There were times when I wanted to give up; it felt like there was no way I could impress my teachers enough or compete at the level my classmates did. I knew I was a good student, but every morning I looked in the mirror and told myself I was inadequate. I told myself that there were kids in my class publishing research with professors from top universities while I was struggling to maintain an A in Chemistry. And no matter how much I didn’t want others' success or accomplishments to bring me down, they did. Of course, I was happy for them, but at the same time, when academic standings define you, it’s hard not to feel a little jealous or guilty. It becomes easy to beat yourself up about not doing enough.
The more grade-conscious I became, the more stressed I was. I would create schedules that were set weeks in advance to ensure that I had enough time to study for assessments and ace them. My homework was completed in an orderly fashion on time, I studied in my free time, and I even dreamed about school and test questions. School consumed me and became my life. And to make matters worse, my school encouraged this behavior. Our teachers at the magnet school had very high expectations for us since they knew we were capable of doing very difficult things. But even so, that pressure was taken to a level where achieving academic success was the end all, be all. In fact, it would be hard to meet the teachers’ definition of “success” given that most students were pulling all-nighters at least once a week and living off caffeine.
Like in my school, thousands of students across the country succumb to grade pressure and are forced to run on a hamster wheel, chasing perfection that doesn’t exist. Schooling in the modern world prioritizes tangible results over the learning experience and the mental health of students. Many schools worry about their ranking in the state and value their standardized test scores over the well-being of their student body and an individualized curriculum that could help all students achieve success. Some schools don’t pay nearly enough attention to attending to the personal needs of the student body as they should. After all, students in K-12 are minors who not only need to have the academic foundations to achieve their goals, but who also require interpersonal and emotional regulation skills to manage their day-to-day lives. If schools are attempting to set us up for success, how can we do that if grades are the only things that are valued?
There were plenty of times when my mental health had to be put on the back burner. There were nights I’d have full-blown panic attacks, but I had to shape up, put on a brave face, and finish my English paper like nothing happened. I had depressive episodes where I physically couldn’t get out of bed and had zero motivation to do anything, but I had to muster up the courage to study for that math test because my teacher would think I was making excuses to get out of doing work. Even while mental health is talked about more in society compared to the past few decades, it’s still not widely accepted as a reason why someone might not be performing at the level they usually do. I can’t tell my teachers that I’m struggling every evening when I go home and ask for an extension on an assignment. They’d think I’m trying to get out of doing hard work. That’s the problem: across the country, millions of students have difficult home lives and internal battles they’re fighting, but when it comes to school, all of that has to be ignored. It’s all about earning the perfect grades and doing “perfectly” in school; everything else has to be pushed to the side and tended to later.
My question is this: How are students expected to earn the “tangible results” of good grades and stellar report cards if those students can’t grasp the internal chaos occurring within them? In other words, if students aren't taking the time to process their intense emotions, how can grades be their top priority? Why would the education system make matters worse by prioritizing grades instead of teaching us to care for ourselves first? Mental health stigmas remain prevalent in society, but I believe that schools shouldn’t perpetuate the problem with their students, especially among adolescents in high school.
I am a firm believer in social and emotional learning (SEL) being embedded in districts across the country to provide students with foundational well-being and mental health education. This way, students can tune out the toxicity of the competition that might exist around them and learn life skills they can carry on with them. SEL isn’t just a fun activity to take a break; those activities are teaching real skills that adults implement in their lives. Learning empathy, compassion, time management, self-love, and more are what help us keep going in our lives. Without these skills, it’s easy to let one’s mental health go. Without strong mental health, it’s difficult to do anything else.
SEL days can involve guest speakers coming into classrooms to educate students on the importance of prioritizing their mental health over other aspects of their lives. This approach helps schools promote mental health awareness rather than ignoring the topic. Including SEL in public school curricula will open doors for students to find new avenues to express themselves in their school environment. I saw that a lot of students at my old school were afraid to even take breaks from work and improve their mental health, as they were worried about what their peers would think if they didn’t make school the top priority. Having schools show students the importance of mental health might inspire them to work on their emotional well-being outside of the classroom environment. Not only will this improve students’ focus and allow them to earn good grades, but competition will be reduced as students begin to look at the bigger picture of life: balance.
However, it takes more than embedding SEL curriculum into the classroom. As a whole, teachers and students must reshape how we think about achievement. A lot of the stress and pressure that comes from school environments has to do with earning good grades. Perfectionism cannot be solved by including emotional well-being in schools. I am a firm believer in pairing SEL with having open and vulnerable conversations between students and school administrators on what achievement truly means. To achieve is to strive and meet goals. However, deciphering the definitions of achievement and success in a new light will not only put less pressure on students but will also allow them to have a healthier relationship with grades.
The modern world expects everyone, from working professionals to students, to perform their duties and forget about everything else. But we must remember that we’re all human. All humans need breaks and time to work on themselves. My mental health was suffering because I didn’t take that opportunity. I felt stifled in school, worrying about being judged by friends or teachers for not keeping up with my academic performance, which drove me to an anxious and depressed state. As someone who has been in the thick of it, I want to prevent that from happening to other learners. We might not be able to change our school environment, what teachers say, or how the education system functions as a whole. However, school districts can recognize this issue and make a promise to better the lives of their students so they can achieve success in whatever form works best for them. Prioritizing social and emotional learning will make students more well-rounded, able to handle their mental health, break some of the toxic, competitive cycles that exist within schools, and set them up in life to be emotionally intelligent adults.
Now that I’ve begun practicing social and emotional learning independently, I’ve seen a difference within myself. I no longer look at grades as a measure of my intelligence or worth. I don’t feel inferior based on them. I want other kids to feel the way I do now rather than how I did before. I want to show kids across the country that it is possible to have a fulfilling educational career without having grades be the sole determinant of happiness and success. Mental health is real; I don’t want to see other kids going through what I went through. Our schools can and should recognize this issue, create plans to prioritize their student body, and work towards balance in the education system.
Lily Sharma is a high school senior at Metuchen High School, located in Metuchen, New Jersey. She is passionate about reforming the education system to make it inclusive for people of diverse identities, enabling them to feel supported within learning environments. Outside of that, Lily is a social justice advocate with organizations such as UNICEF USA and Plan International USA. Besides academics and extracurriculars, she enjoys spending time with loved ones, writing, and listening to music.